Best Of Both Worlds
by hermionepuckle
Summary: The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep. Rated NC17 for sexual content. Please read warningsnotes at the beginning before reading so that you do not read something that you don't want.
1. It's wrong, isn't it?

**PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ THE STORY SO THAT YOU DON'T READ SOMETHING THAT YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Title:** Best Of Both Worlds  
**Ships:** Ron/Harry, Ron/Hermione  
**Rating:** NC-17 (only for language in this chapter) PG-13 otherwise  
**Warning:** Both Slash and Het Pairing (Including Sex), Angst, Adultery, Romance  
**Word Count:** 1953  
**Notes: **My OTP is Ron/Hermione but I Ron/Harry are definitely a close second because I think it works so well. I usually prefer reading Ron/Harry smut because it just seems so much hotter… I don't know what it is but it's the case for me personally anyway. However, I wanted to try writing a story that included both of my pairings (I do love Trio stuff too but I don't find a lot of it very believable). Please let me know what you think. The story will span over a few chapters, not too sure how many just yet but I'm thinking between 5 and 10 each at about this length. _Also: Yes, Ron is unfaithful but I can forgive him, you can too  
_**Summary:** The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

* * *

"Come on, mate," Harry said forcefully, "you hardly ever come out with us anymore."

"Nah. Sorry, I don't feel like going out," I answered, eyes fixed on the Muggle television in front of me.

"Suit yourself," Harry muttered, more than a little annoyed, and turning to put his coat on. I glanced up from the television. Hermione entered the room wearing tight, grey jeans and a sparkly, black top. Her hair was in a loose bun at the back of her head and small curls escaped to rest on the side of her face.

"You look nice," I told her.

"Thanks," she replied, "come on then, let's go." She, too, moved to put on her coat, which was hanging up next to the front door.

"He's not coming," Harry said bitterly, leaning against the wall with arms crossed over his chest.

"Why?" Hermione whined, sitting next to me on the sofa. I shrugged. She leant closer and dropped her voice a little. "Please, Ron, you can't leave me on my own. Harry will be off dancing as usual," she said, looking up to smile at Harry, "and I don't want to sit there whilst Seamus slobbers all over whomever he's brought along this week. If you come, maybe you could slobber all over me," she joked, kissing me gently on the cheek and squeezing the top of my thigh.

"Oh, alright," I sighed, giving in, "but I won't be staying long." I dragged myself off the couch and switched off the television. I couldn't be bothered getting changed so I headed to the door in my jeans and t-shirt.

"Brilliant!" Harry exclaimed, patting me heavily on the back as we made our way outside.

When we reached the club, we found Seamus already waiting for us. He introduced the new girl as "Sarah" and then proceeded to give me a very long, enthusiastic handshake.

"Weasley! Great to see you, it's been ages mate!" He said, patting a stool next to him, gesturing for me to sit down.

"Yeah, too long," I admitted, taking the seat.

I spent the next hour or so playing "catch-up" with Seamus. The girls had been abandoned but seemed to be getting along very well together anyway. I realised that I was actually having a good time. I wondered whether I'd been an idiot, turning down chances to go out recently. However, that was until the subject was changed.

"What's he like, eh?" Seamus asked, amused. He nodded towards Harry who was dancing with a man on the other side of the club. "You wouldn't think he'd only come out of the closet a few months ago, would you, the way he carries on? Slut!" Seamus laughed loudly. I saved myself the need to answer by choosing that exact moment to take a long gulp of my pint.

I watched Harry for a few minutes over the top of my glass. He was slow dancing with a tall, blond man, and although the music and distance drowned out whatever it was that Harry whispered in his ear, it wasn't hard to tell from the way the taller man blushed that it wasn't entirely innocent. I could see Harry's shirt clinging to his back from the heat and noticed that his fringe was rather sweaty when the other man reached up to brush the hair away from his forehead. I felt suddenly sick. I cleared my throat and turned to Hermione.

"Do you mind if I go now? I'm not feeling very well."

"Oh, really?" she asked, concerned. "I'll come with you."

"No, It's just a headache," I lied, "I'm not used to the loud music and stuff, am I? I don't want to ruin your night. Stay."

"Well… if you're sure," she answered, not entirely convinced. I gave her a lingering kiss on the lips and turned to say goodbye to the other couple.

"It's only early!" Seamus exclaimed. "Stay for another one."

"No, really, I don't feel too good." I gave him a brief hug and pulled on my jacket. "We'll have to do this again soon though," I added, and without another word I walked quickly out of the club and Dissapparated to the flat that Hermione and I shared.

I poured myself a large glass of Firewhiskey, downed it in one, and poured myself another.

I couldn't believe I'd actually agreed to go out. I'd avoided it for months because I had known that something like this would happen. Seeing Harry with another man was weird, just… just horrible. I drained my glass once again and refilled it. It was wrong for two men to be that close, wasn't it? Since finding out about Harry I'd tried my best to be supportive, I'd tried to be okay with it, but I wasn't sure that I was. It was wrong… that's why it made me feel sick to think of it. And seeing it had been a whole lot worse… I felt like the bottom had fallen out of my stomach.

I sat in silent darkness on the sofa and continued to drink. I don't know how long I'd been sitting there but suddenly the bottle was empty and there was a loud banging on the door. I got up and almost swayed across the room, opening it to find Harry looking annoyed.

"Thanks for saying bye," he shouted, pushing past me to enter the sitting room. "You just fucked off without saying anything."

"You were _busy_," I slurred, closing the door.

Harry rolled his eyes and moved further into the room, "why did you get off so early?"

"Didn't feel good," I said, shrugging.

Harry looked at the coffee table and saw the empty bottle and glass resting there. "Well, you were well enough to drink a whole bottle of Firewhiskey. Why did you really leave?" I didn't answer but moved to the armchair across the room. "Don't ignore me, Ron. Why did you leave?"

"I just told you," I said, through gritted teeth.

"Oh, don't give me that shit, Ron! You can't just feed me whatever bullshit you want and expect me to just swallow it." Harry was shouting, arms flailing about all over the place. "I know that you left because of me. I might be gay, but I'm not bloody stupid! You've come out with us a grand total of _twice_ since you found out I was gay; I can put two and two together. If you've got a fucking problem with me, just come out and say it!"

"Alright," I growled, "I've got a fucking problem." I looked up to glare at Harry. "I don't want to see you and some other bloke drooling all over each other and groping each other. It makes me feel sick. There, you happy?"

Harry face showed a mixture of confusion and shock. He looked as though he hadn't expected me to admit it so soon, as though he'd expected me to convince him it was all in his head. "But… but I don't understand."

"What's to understand, Harry? Seeing you with a bloke makes me feel like shit."

"But Dean… you were fine with Dean when he came out. Yeah, you took the piss for a bit but you were OK…"

"Yeah," I interrupted. "That was Dean, wasn't it? Not you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Harry yelled.

"It feels different, that's what I mean," I shouted back, standing up.

"Like how? Do you think because you spend more time with me I'm going to bloody come on to you or something? Is that what it is? Have I threatened your precious masculinity?"

"Don't be fucking ridiculous!" I snarled, walking away from Harry and standing next to the opposite wall. Harry advanced on me and grabbed me by the shoulder, forcing me to turn and face him.

"I don't think I'm being ridiculous. You don't have a problem with anyone being gay… but me? That's fucking sick is it? What other explanation is there?" Yet again, I didn't answer. I felt sick. I felt my ears getting hot and didn't know what to say. "Or is it jealousy?" Harry continued, and my eyes shot up to meet his. "As far as I'm concerned there are only two possible explanations." Harry lifted his thumb up as a counter for the first explanation, "Either you're worried about me coming on to you, because you don't fancy blokes." I shook my head quickly and Harry lifted his forefinger as a second counter and took a step closer to me. "Or, you're worried about me coming on to you, because you do fancy blokes." I took a step backwards and pressed myself against the wall with no escape. "Which is it?"

"Not blokes…" I breathed, eyes still fixed on Harry's. I gulped and shook my head again.

"Me?" Harry said quietly. I nodded, without thinking, and then tried to disguise it as a shake.

"No… I mean... I'm not… I don't…" My voice was shaking and I was suddenly very aware of how close Harry was to me.

"You don't fancy me?" Harry whispered, and I could feel his breath on my face. I shook my head once more. "That's a shame… because I fancy the arse off you." I wasn't aware that I had closed my eyes until they snapped open at Harry's confession. Harry's face was just inches from my own and I could think about nothing else. Harry closed the distance between us, and I was closing my eyes again as Harry's lips brushed my own.

Instinctively, I gave a half hearted push at Harry's shoulders but when he didn't move I ended up gripping them tightly in a vain attempt to pull him closer. Harry's hands moved up to seize my hair and I found that I had opened my mouth and was allowing Harry's tongue to dart in and out… and that I was enjoying it. One of my hands left Harry's shoulder to grip the back of his head and I met Harry's tongue with my own. I let out an involuntary moan and Harry broke the kiss.

I stood with my eyes shut tight, terrified to open them and trying to make sense of what had just happened. I was totally incapable of speech and without a clue to what I'd say even if I could. Eventually, I opened my eyes to see Harry smiling faintly.

"I'd love to see how you'd kiss me if you did fancy me," he said breathlessly. When I remained silent his smile disappeared and he stepped away with a slight frown. He cleared his throat and looked down at his feet. "Well… I should probably go," he said awkwardly. He walked quickly to the door and closed it gently behind him, leaving me standing against the wall.

As soon as the door clicked shut, I let out a breath that I wasn't aware I'd been holding in. My knees seemed to buckle and I crumpled to the floor. I buried my head in my hands and tried not to panic. What the fuck had I done? I tried to clear my head, tried to understand how that had just happened but everything around me seemed to be swimming.

Two minutes later, I was scrambling to my feet and running as fast as I could into the bathroom. I made it just in time to throw up into the toilet. I didn't know whether it was the thought of what I had done or because I had drank so much. Perhaps it was a little bit of both. I heaved into the bowl once more before collapsing on my back on the bathroom floor.


	2. What else do I need?

**PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ SOMETHING THAT YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Title:** Best Of Both Worlds  
**Ships:** Ron/Harry, Ron/Hermione  
**Rating:** R  
**Warning:** Both Slash and Het Pairing (Including Sex), Angst, Adultery, Romance  
**Word Count:** 1007  
**Notes: **This chapter contains a heterosexual sex (masturbation) scene between Ron/Hermione. If you do not wish to read a heterosexual scene, chapter 3 may be read straight after chapter 1 and you won't have missed much. However, the chapter is very Harry/Ron motivated and I don't think H/R fans will be too disappointed if they read it. If you are able to stand this chapter you should be fine with the rest as no other chapter will be as highly rated as this for a _heterosexual _scene.  
**Summary:** The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

* * *

I woke in the bed the next morning and my head was pounding painfully. I lay there for a few minutes with my eyes closed, willing the pain in my head to subside and trying to remember what I could have done to make it hurt that badly. I heard someone move across the room and stop on my left side. I squinted through the brightness of the room, and saw that Hermione was placing a glass of water on the bedside table. She glanced down and saw that I was awake. She sat beside me on the bed and brushed my hair out of my face.

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" she asked, continuing to stroke my hair.

"Not great," I mumbled, leaning into her soothing touch.

"Well, I can't say that I'm surprised considering how much you drank last night," she said disapprovingly. "I had to levitate you off the bathroom floor when I came home."

"Sorry," I said automatically. I couldn't remember much of the previous night. I closed my eyes again and struggled to remember anything at all. I remembered watching a bit of television... but apart from that, the night was a complete and utter blur.

"What's up, Ron? Did you have a falling out with Harry?"

At Harry's name, everything from the night before suddenly came racing back. The memories filled my head as vividly as if I had just fallen into a Pensieve… the club, the whiskey, Harry leaning in to kiss me… I felt winded. Hermione leaned in to kiss my forehead, obviously taking my silence as a "yes" and I felt even worse. How could I have let it happen? I wasn't gay... I was with Hermione.

"It'll be fine, love," Hermione assured me, "I'm sure it's silly, whatever it is. Although… it must have been pretty bad, you finished the entire bottle. It's so unlike you, what happened?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just silly, like you said."

Hermione smiled and leant in to kiss my cheek before leaving the room. I sat up and took a sip of water before slowly dragging myself out of the bed and into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and I'd never looked as rough. I lifted a hand to my forehead and massaged my right temple in silent disbelief. I'd never even thought about Harry in that way before. Why, all of a sudden, had I been kissing him? It wasn't even as though Harry had kissed me and I'd shoved him off. I had willingly opened my mouth and let his tongue touch my own. I never would have thought, no matter how drunk I might have been, that anything like that could ever happen.

I turned on the shower and stripped, stepping directly under the hot scream. I let the water run all over me, from head to toe, as though trying to wash away the memory of what had happened. However, the more I tried to forget about it, the more the image of Harry leaning towards me plagued my mind. As I rubbed my soapy hands over my chest and hips the image replayed itself in my head over and over, and I found I was growing hard. I was somewhat ashamed, however, I couldn't help but rub a lathered hand along my stiffening cock.

"Want some company?" My thoughts were interrupted when I turned to see Hermione stepping into the shower behind me.

"Herm', I'm not in the mood this morning to be honest," I said, turning away from her and trying to hide my traitorous erection. She moved to stand against me and wrapped her arms around my chest from behind. She pressed a few tender kisses against my shoulders and moved her fingers to slowly caress my chest.

"I just want to make you feel better," she said quietly, her hand drifting down to the part of my body that was continuing to ignore my objection. "Besides, it seems you _are_ in the mood."

I could feel her hard nipples rubbing against my back and guilt and confusion were suddenly replaced by desire. When her fingers closed around my rigid cock I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into her touch, my head falling back onto her shoulder. She began to pump my dick slowly until I was meeting her hand with small, enthusiastic thrusts.

"You feel better?" she whispered into my ear, taking the lobe into her mouth and nibbling on it gently. I could only groan in response and on hearing it she bit my ear a little harder and then whispered playfully, "but, Ron, you're not in the mood." She slowed her hand to an excruciating, leisurely pace as though about to stop.

"Don't," I breathed, trying to drive myself into her loosening fist.

"Don't what?"

"More. Please," I begged desperately, "so close."

With that, Hermione continued willingly, meeting each of my frantic thrusts. She ran her thumb across the head, rubbing a mixture of pre-come and foam around the tip. When I began to babble incoherently, she must have known that I was near completion and she finished me with her words.

"You're so hot, Ron," she whispered against my ear. "So hot…come for me... come for me now."

And I did. I moved my arms to grip the walls and steady myself as I came all over Hermione's hand and the tiled wall in front. After getting my breath back I turned around to meet her in a slow, deep kiss.

"Wow," I murmured, resting my forehead against hers. I opened my eyes and she smiled; but I was startled as I looked into hers and saw that they were brown and not green.

She frowned a little. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine," I lied, pulling her into a hug and placing a small kiss on her forehead.

I didn't understand it. How could I possibly want or need anything else when I had such an amazing, beautiful person already? I loved Hermione, _didn't I_?


	3. What is this?

**Title:** Best Of Both Worlds  
**Ships:** Ron/Harry, Ron/Hermione  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Warning:** Both Slash and Het Pairing (Including Sex), Angst, Adultery, Romance  
**Word Count:** 1610  
**Summary:** The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

* * *

I was sprawled out on the sofa, flicking through the channels on our Muggle television. Hermione had gone to visit Ginny as she did every Sunday. Although we'd only owned a TV for a couple of months, I had already come to realise that Sunday afternoons were a load of rubbish. I flicked the _up_ button on the remote repeatedly, paying little attention to what was on screen. Suddenly, I sat up and pressed the _down_ button… I could have sworn I'd just saw… yes, I had!

There were two young blokes kissing… pressed against a wall… at half past twelve on a Sunday afternoon! It was that _Hollyoaks_ programme that Hermione had been talking about for weeks! Craig and… oh, what was his name?

"_There's your proof. I love you John-Paul. It'll always be me and you._"

I sat watching, transfixed, as they stood breathing heavily and staring into each other's eyes. It was so surreal… it felt like I was watching Harry and me. It reminded me of exactly what had happened a few nights ago.

When the scene changed I felt a sort of… disappointment and silently willed there to be more. I only had to wait a few minutes before John-Paul had pulled the other one onto the bed with him and hands were roaming over his naked back. I felt a stirring in my pants as I watched and absently touched myself through my jeans.

And then, a girl walked in on them and was obviously not expecting it. The stirring in my trousers changed to an awful guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I watched the look on her face. I swallowed. What was happening to me?

_Knock, Knock_.

My heart leapt into my throat at the unexpected sound. I stood to answer the door and, opening it, looked into Harry's eyes for the first time since he had left two nights ago.

"Hey," he said, smiling and walking past me into the flat.

"Hey," I repeated. He moved to sit on the couch and started to flick through the channels as I had. I stood near the open door, slightly open-mouthed, wondering how the hell I was going to deal with this. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other since it had happened… what was I going to say to him?

"You going to stand there all day?" Harry asked turning to stare at me, still clutching the open door. I closed it quickly and hurried to sit in an armchair furthest away from were Harry was sat. "You alright?"

"Yeah… great," I answered, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. "You?"

"Fine," Harry seemed perfectly at ease with everything… he didn't look uneasy or uncomfortable or awkward. He looked as though nothing had happened between us. Perhaps that was the best way to deal with it.

"Fancy a brew?"

"Yeah, tar," he said, turning back to the tele. "Need any help?" he added as I stood up and strolled over to the kitchen.

"No, I'm fine."

I spent the next few minutes in the kitchen preparing the drinks and then revisited the living room with two mugs of hot tea. Harry noticed me entering the room. He shuffled along the sofa to give me a place to sit down. I panicked and, instead of sitting next to him as I usually would, walked past the empty space and returned to the armchair on the other side of the room.

"What's up, Ron?" Harry asked me seriously.

"Nothing," I replied unconvincingly. I took a quick gulp from the hot mug and scalded my tongue, nearly choking in the process. Harry got to his feet hurriedly and slapped me on the back a couple of times.

He sat on the arm of the chair and gently soothed my back with his hand as I slowly regained my breath. "Thanks," I forced out between splutters and gasps.

"No problem," he said as I recovered. His hand stopped moving but he rested it against my shoulder blade. "What's up?"

I kept my head down and stared at drink silently for a few minutes. I shrugged. Harry's hand began to move gently across my shoulders once again, and he caressed the back of my neck with his thumb. I felt a shiver shoot down my spine and leapt out of the chair.

"Sorry," Harry said.

"What for?" I continued to stare in the opposite direction.

"The other night, I…" he began but I interrupted him.

"Harry, just leave it, okay?"

"We have to talk about it, Ron. It's just going to be awful and awkward if we don't."

"Harry, please don't," I almost begged.

Harry stood up and sat instead on the sofa once again. "Ron, please. Sit with me. Let's talk about this. You're my best mate, I want things to be all right between us."

"Everything is fine," I lied, sitting next to him but still unable to look at him, "everything's fine."

"Don't be ridiculous," Harry said gently. "How can it be fine?"

I didn't know what to say. Harry wasn't stupid. We really did have to talk about it if it was ever going to get any better… but it was just so hard, I didn't even know where to start. I sighed loudly and shook my head.

"All right. It's not fine," I admitted. "I just don't understand what happened."

"Well… we kissed." Harry said, perplexed.

"No!" I said, sternly. "I don't understand _how_ it happened."

Harry shrugged. "I don't know, Ron. You were pretty out of it, I suppose." He cleared his throat a little before continuing. "I took advantage, I'm sorry. I was hurt. I was angry."

I shook my head. "You had every right to be angry, I acted like a complete and utter bastard. I don't know why. But still, I don't know how that ends in you kissing me?"

"You kissed me back!" Harry said defensively.

I nodded as the scene played inside my head for the hundredth time that week

"I felt so wounded when you said I was sick. It felt like you'd punched me in the stomach." He shook his head and looked down at the floor. "Lots of people have a problem with it, and recently I've been telling myself, '_Fuck them_. _Who needs those narrow-minded people_?' But, Ron, what do I do when one of those people is you? What do I do when I _do_ need one of those people? When it's the person that I need more than anyone else in the world? Should I just say, 'fuck you' and throw away a whole decade of friendship?"

"I shouldn't have said that it was sick, or disgusting. Honestly, I don't know why I said that." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I felt ashamed of myself. "It's just… I'm finding it hard to deal with and I don't know why. Did you mean what you said? I mean… that you fancy me?"

He answered with a simple, "sorry", and I looked up at him for the first time since sitting down.

"I don't want things to be weird between us," Harry confessed, still staring at his knees. "You're the best mate I've ever had. I don't want to lose you. I don't expect anything from you… you know? I'd rather have you as a best friend than not have you at all."

He looked so vulnerable sitting there, bearing his soul to me, looking, well, terrified really. The instinct that had always told me to take care of him kicked in and I moved across to pull him into a tight hug.

"Remember, mate, I'm with you whatever happens." Harry tried to say something in return but his voice cracked and he gave me a hard squeeze instead. I brushed Harry's hair off his forehead and Harry closed his eyes at the touch. I continued to silently stroke my hand through his hair. He licked his lips unconsciously and bit his bottom lip as he rested his head in my hand.

I don't know why I did it but I leant forward slowly and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. I was still stroking Harry's hair but I pulled back a couple of inches as Harry's eyes opened and stared into my own.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

"Taking care of you," I said just as quietly, with a little shrug. It felt different now. I couldn't put my finger on it. I leant forwards again and placed another kiss on Harry's lips. He responded a little before pulling back, breaking the kiss and looking into my eyes once again, as if to make sure that I wasn't joking. A short sequence of tentative brushes of lips and feather light kisses followed.

"You don't have to do this," Harry said, pushing at my chest, trying to resist it.

"I want to," I answered softly, and I was shocked to hear the words myself. It was the truth. I leant forwards once more and gave him a slightly more open-mouthed kiss. As Harry returned the kiss, it soon turned bolder until our hesitant intimacy had become exploration of each other. The hand that had been stroking Harry's head softly was now gripping the back of his head firmly to stop him from moving away again. The kiss was slow but probably the most passionate one that I've ever shared.

After several minutes the kiss ended and we stared at each other, panting slightly.

"What is this?" Harry asked me breathlessly. I shook my head slowly. I didn't have a clue what this was.


	4. Monday Mornings

**Title:** Best Of Both Worlds  
**Ships:** Ron/Harry, Ron/Hermione  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Warning:** Both Slash and Het Pairing (Including Sex), Angst, Adultery, Romance  
**Word Count:** 1396  
**Summary:** The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

* * *

God, I hate Monday mornings. I've always hated them. And that's just normal Monday mornings, not even really bad Monday mornings. Like the one when you wake up with your girlfriend, after just having had a dream about your best mate, and suddenly wishing it was his arm draped around your waist as he slept.

After kissing for a few more minutes, Harry had stood up and all but ran out of the door without a word. It was time to catch up on paperwork at work, so Harry and I would have plenty of time to discuss things in our joint office. I was confused.

I still couldn't figure out what was happening. I couldn't stop thinking about Harry and the thought of what we had done made my heart and my cock ache simultaneously. It seemed that I had turned gay overnight.

Hermione stirred in her sleep and turned onto her other side. This was the part that made my heart ache… what an utter bastard I was. I never would have dreamt of doing anything to hurt Hermione, but I knew that I could never take it back now, and wondered if she would ever forgive me when she found out. Because I knew she would, eventually. There are no secrets when you are dating the brightest witch of her age.

I stood outside the office and stared at the door. I'd spent the entire morning trying to come up with some sort of speech so that I'd know exactly what to say when I saw Harry. The trouble was, I didn't have a clue what it was that I wanted to say. That it had been a mistake? No, because I wasn't sure that it had. That I regretted it? No, because I wasn't sure that I did. I didn't have a clue what was going on inside my own head and it terrified me.

I took a deep breath and pushed the door open slowly, but the room was empty. Harry probably hadn't arrived yet. I sat at my own desk and started to busy myself with the huge pile of paperwork sat there.

Harry didn't turn up until about 15 minutes later. I heard the door open and continued to stare at the file in front of me.

"Morning," I said, clearing my throat.

"Morning, Ron," he said. I forced myself to look up but he seemed to be avoiding eye contact too.

"Listen, Harry, I…" I began, but was interrupted when Seamus strolled into the office. "Hey Seamus, what's up?"

"Just come to give you a bit of good news," he answered with a cheeky grin, sitting down on the edge of my desk.

"Oh?" I said, curiously.

"Yeah," he said. "The ministry is having some sort of celebration in a couple of weeks. Can't remember what Shacklebolt said it was for," he frowned, trying to think, and then shook his head. "The anniversary of some big law or something, I don't know." He raised his hand to his mouth in a mock yawn. "Anyway, it's basically an excuse to get dressed up, get pissed and make a fool of ourselves."

"Cool," I exclaimed. I looked over at Harry instinctively and noticed that he was staring intently at Seamus. My head snapped back the same way and he started talking again.

"It's going to be a 'black tie' do I think, invitation only. Only those highest up the ranks are getting an invite. Fuckin' pompous ministry bastards," he laughed. "I think the invitation is you plus a guest though, so have no fear Weasley, you can bring the missus along."

"Great," I answered weakly.

"Got loads of paperwork of my own to catch up on anyway, boys, so I'll see you later."

He walked out, closing the door behind him and an immediate silence filled the room. I cleared my throat again and looked back at the file I was holding. I heard Harry shuffling some things about on his desk and then everything was quiet again.

The silence continued for half an hour or so. I had been staring at the same file for about fifteen minutes, reading the same line over and over again.

"God, I hate Mondays," I said about ten minutes later. I couldn't stand the silence any longer, I felt like I was suffocating.

"Yeah," Harry said, nodding. And then there was nothing again.

"I don't remember this one," I tried again, waving the file at him.

"What name is it?" he asked, looking up at the file, avoiding my face. It was a start.

"Errr… Mrs White?" I said, checking the name.

"She was that witness we interviewed last week, remember? Old, grey hair… smelt like piss?"

"Oh, how could I forget?" I grimaced and laughed.

Harry laughed too and looked at me for the first time. He smiled faintly, and I tried to smile back. I had to say something now, or I was never going to say anything.

"Listen, Harry. I…" Once again I was interrupted, this time by Harry.

"Ron, you don't have to say anything."

"I think I do."

"What's the point? I already know what you're going to say and I've known ever since it happened so there's no reason to voice what we're both thinking, is there?"

"And what is it that we're both thinking?" I huffed. I had spent the entire morning worrying about what I would need to say and here he was telling me that I couldn't say anything.

"I made you feel sorry for me," he said matter-of-factly, looking down at his hands. "It should never have happened. You regret it."

"So, this is what _we're_ thinking, is it?" I asked, hotly. "Sounds to me like it's _you_ that's feeling sorry for _you_."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry asked, meeting my eyes again.

"That's what _you're_ thinking. It's not what I'm thinking. If you'd just let me speak…"

"Fine," he said, crossing his arms. I stood up and walked around to sit on his desk. I ran a hand through my hair and then turned to look at him.

"I didn't feel sorry for you," I said. Harry looked doubtful so I corrected myself. "All right, I felt sorry for you… but that's not why I did it."

"Then why?" Harry asked, still unconvinced.

"I don't really know, to be honest," I told him. He rolled his eyes. "I wanted to."

"You can't do this, Ron."

"Do what?"

"This. It's hard enough that I'm in love with my best friend, and then…"

My jaw dropped and I interrupted him. "You… You're _what_?" Harry shut his mouth quickly and looked down again. "You're in love with me?" I swallowed, hard.

"Just, please Ron. Don't pretend that you wanted me." He shook his head. "Don't give me false hope. Don't lie to me. It's not fair."

"I'm not lying," I said.

"I'm going to get some coffee," he said, standing up and moving towards the door. I grabbed his arm before he had got very far.

"Stop running out on me," I said. I pulled on his sleeve, urging him to come closer.

"Ron…" he said, but he moved towards me and I pulled him into a hug. Still sitting on the desk, I pulled him to stand between my legs and wrapped my arms around his waist. I pressed my forehead against his chest. His arms hung limply at his sides, refusing to hold me.

"I don't know what's happening, Harry." I spoke the words into his chest. "I'm so scared. I don't know what's going on inside my own head." After a few minutes, Harry's hands moved to embrace my shoulders, and rubbed my back soothingly. He leaned his head on top of mine. "I can't stop thinking about you, Harry." I felt the hand still on my back and Harry lifted his head. I looked up at him.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he whispered.

"I'm sorry," I answered. "I don't want to hurt you, Harry."

"You wanted me?" Harry asked, frowning. I nodded and stood up. "You think about me?" I nodded again. "You still want me?" I nodded for the third time, and before I could think about whether or not I should do it myself, Harry had leant in to press his lips against mine.


	5. Not here

**Title:** Best Of Both Worlds  
**Ships:** Ron/Harry, Ron/Hermione  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Warning:** Both Slash and Het Pairing (Including Sex), Angst, Adultery, Romance  
**Word Count:** 1226  
**Summary:** The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.  
**Notes:** I had a lot of trouble with this chapter. The plot just wouldn't go down on paper (on Word, whatever) very well. I hope it isn't too bad and hope the next chapter comes a little more easily. I'm planning on it being NC-17 next so if you want to read it you will have to join this community.

* * *

He kissed me with his mouth open just slightly; he didn't even use his tongue. He pulled back just a few centimetres and looked into my eyes before he leant in to repeat the same stroking of my lips with his own. His hand was cradling the back of my neck gently and my hands were holding the front of his robes.

I'd always thought it was weird when couples kissed with their eyes open, but I couldn't take mine off Harry. The kiss was so soft and slow. Harry kept pulling away for just a second or two and then brushing feathery kisses against my lips, always keeping his eyes open. It didn't feel weird; it felt amazing, yet all I was doing was sitting there with my lips slightly parted and hardly responding. Harry was kissing me, and he knew exactly what he was doing. It felt like the most intimate thing I'd ever done. My brain seemed to have lost all power, only conscious of the feel of Harry's lips against my own and a strange floaty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It was amazing, but I wanted more. The next time he tried to pull away, my head followed him and I wouldn't let him break the contact. I finally responded and pressed my slightly open mouth into the kiss much harder than he had. I let the tip of my tongue slide very gently against his bottom lip, inviting him to deepen the kiss and his grip on the back of my neck tightened.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash and somebody swore on the other side of the door. We almost jumped into the air with shock and Harry leaped backwards, away from his desk, away from me.

We both stared at the door for a minute, waiting for someone to enter but all we heard was the muffled voices of the person who had dropped something and the ones trying to help. I felt breathless and my head was spinning slightly. I was unsure whether it was the effect of the kiss or of shock. Probably both.

"Scared the shit out of me," I said, turning to Harry, clutching my hand to my chest and giggling nervously. A pink flush was spread across his cheeks, and he seemed to be as out of breath as I was.

"Yeah," he chuckled too. I was glad that there was only a hint of embarrassment in the air. "Probably stupid, really, to do that here."

"Yeah," I agreed, "not here."

The rest of the day passed quite smoothly. We sat at our desks and finished our paperwork. How I manage to have any sort of coherent thought was beyond me, but eventually it was all done. We acted like it was just another day.

I walked through the door of my flat. _Our_ flat. Shit, where had that come from? I draped my coat over the cloak stand and moved into the kitchen where Hermione was making dinner.

"Hey, gorgeous," she greeted, moving across the room to hug me.

"Hey," I said, giving her a gentle squeeze and kissing her temple. "What you making?"

"Spaghetti Bolognese," she smiled up at me.

"Great, I'm famished," I replied, smiling back. She raised herself on tiptoes and wrapped her arms around my neck. She moved her head close enough so that her breath was caressing my chin and whispered, "Me too."

Instinctively, I moved my mouth to hers. I ran my hands up her sides and along her arms that still joined me around the neck. My eyes were closed and her tongue immediately ran along mine. After a few more seconds, I pulled her arms away from me and pressed her into the doorframe, pinning her arms by her sides, and broke the kiss.

"At five o'clock in the afternoon?" I asked, in disbelief. "What's got into you?"

She shrugged. "Don't you like it?"

"No. I mean… of course I do. It's just… I'm exhausted Herm'. Paperwork, you know?" I let go of her arms, and she looked slightly deflated. I moved my thumb along her cheek and brought her chin up so that her eyes met mine. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head slightly and forced a smile. "It's alright," she assured me, "I guess there's nothing you can do about it if you're tired. I suppose you're not too tired to eat, though?" I smirked at her and she smiled genuinely. "Food," she raised a hand to eye level, "and then sex," she added, raising her other hand just slightly beneath the first.

I just laughed and she turned to pile up a plate for me. She handed me it and I sat down to eat at the table whilst she busied herself tidying up.

I watched her for a few moments and my stomach filled with lead. Any other time, that kiss would have sent shivers down my spine. Any other time and I'd be jumping at the chance to bed Hermione in the middle of the afternoon… tired or not.

The truth was, after kissing Harry, that kiss was nothing. The intensity, the strange and wonderful feeling that filled my stomach when I kissed Harry, it wasn't there with Hermione. It used to be, but it disappeared a long time ago. I'd forgotten about it, it wasn't important because I'd forgotten what it felt like. I gulped and stared down at my plate.

Where did the intensity come from? It couldn't be because it was new and exciting, I'd never got it with anybody else. I didn't get it with Lavender, I thought, shivering as I remembered that farce of a relationship. That feeling was special. It felt like magic, and I trust magic. I only got that feeling when I was in… no.

There was a tapping at the window and I looked up to see an owl hovering just outside.

Hermione let it in, untied the letter from its leg, and then threw him one of Pig's treats.

"Harry," Hermione told me, throwing the letter across the room. I tore it open and read it quickly.

_Ron, _

_Want to come over tonight and watch the footy? I know you don't really understand it but I can try and explain it again. We don't have to watch the footy. I just thought __we could__spend some time alone __we haven't really spent much time together recently, outside of work. It might be fun._

_I'll understand if you have plans with Hermione._

_Harry_

""What is it?" Hermione asked as I finished the letter and turned it over to write a reply on the back.

"You don't mind if I go round to Harry's tonight, do you?"

"I thought you were tired," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"I am!" I told her, "It's just we've only just made up over that fight we had and he says he wants to spend some time, you know, just the two of us." I willed his ears not to go red and give too much away.

"Oh, I suppose so," she said, rolling her eyes, more than a little irritated. "I forgot. It goes, Harry, food and then sex." She turned and walked out of the room and I returned to my note. Butterflies filled my stomach just thinking about the hidden message in Harry's note - it was there, I could feel it.

_I'll be over about half past 7. Ron_


	6. Somebody

**Title:** Best Of Both Worlds  
**Ships:** Ron/Harry, Ron/Hermione  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Warning:** Both Slash and Het Pairing (Including Sex), Angst, Adultery, Romance  
**Word Count:** 1423  
**Summary:** The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.  
**Notes:** I was planning on writing an NC-17 chapter but the first part lasted a lot longer than I was planned. I'm having a lot of fun writing this I hope you're not too disappointed with this chapter… the smutty stuff comes next I promise.

* * *

At half past seven, I Apparated to a dark street close to Harry's flat. The walk to Harry's door seemed to take much longer than usual. My knees felt all wobbly and I had a weird feeling in my chest, like I was going to be sick. I thought more than once that maybe I should just go back home, and tell Harry that Hermione was giving me a hard time about coming over. I decided against it. He'd know exactly what I was playing at. I stood outside for a full minute before bringing my fist up slowly and tapping the door. 

"Hey," Harry smiled.

"Hey," I said, quietly.

"Are you coming in or what?" Harry said, slightly amused, when I just stood there for a few seconds.

"Yeah… Yeah, of course," I said, stepping past him and walking into the hallway. Harry closed the door and leant against it, his arms folded across his chest. He watched as I removed my coat and put it on one of the hooks hanging on the wall.

"You want a drink?"

"Sure."

"Okay, go on in and I'll bring us some Firewhiskey." He gestured towards the living room door and made his way into the kitchen.

I entered the lounge, and my eyes flicked between the armchair and the couch. Where should I sit? I'd never debated something so trivial in all my life. In the end, I decided to take the far end of the couch. Harry entered a few minutes later with a tray laden with a bottle of Firewhiskey, two glasses, and a bowl full of chocolate frogs. He pulled the coffee table closer to the couch and put the tray on top.

"Here you go," he said, after pouring whiskey into both glasses. He offered me a glass and as I took it, my fingertips brushed his. We locked eyes for a few moments before he turned back to pick up his own glass, and threw me a chocolate frog.

"Thanks," I said, sipping the whiskey before putting it down on the table. Harry turned on his television and leant back against the sofa, swigging his drink.

I tore open the chocolate frog and popped it into my mouth, the sweet sugary taste mixed with the soft burning sensation the drink had left and I hummed appreciatively. Harry glanced at me and smirked when he realised why I'd made such a noise.

"Hey, I've got you!" I exclaimed, picking up the chocolate frog card and showing it to Harry. "I haven't got one of you yet!"

"You haven't?" Harry asked, surprised.

"No, they're pretty rare," I said, as though it was completely obvious. "They wanted yours to be special, didn't they? I've got about eight 'Ronald Weasley' and about 5 'Hermione Granger'… must have printed a load of us two."

"Still, when we had ours made, didn't you get to take copies of any cards you were missing? I remember Kingsley telling you about it."

"What's the point in that?" I said, incredulously. "I collect them, Harry. Where's the fun in having them just _given_ to you?"

"You should have said though, mate," he said, smiling. "I've got one of myself that you could have had… I don't really collect them anymore."

"You have to have one of yourself, though. Plus, I like collecting them on my own." I glanced down and began to read Harry's to myself. 

Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, the hero of the wizarding world. He, along with his friends Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom, helped to destroy the Dark Lord Voldemort's Horcruxes. Harry faced Lord Voldemort at the end of a climactic battle in Hogwarts castle and defeated him. 

"We're mentioned on your card? Wow. I mean, you're mentioned on ours but I didn't think they'd bother mentioning us 'nobodies' next to you." I looked up when my statement was greeted with silence. Harry's jaw was set and he frowned angrily.

"You have to stop saying that," he said.

"Saying what?" I asked, innocently.

"That you're 'nobody'. You're as far from nobody as anyone could possibly get."

"Alright, so I'm somebody. Next to you… I am most definitely nobody."

"How can you say that?" He asked, standing up and throwing his hands up in the air. "I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you. You've saved me more times than I can even count. I made them put you on that card because you all helped me to be, what was it," he asked, plucking the card from my hand, "'hero of the wizarding world'."

"But Harry, look at all the things you've done. Like you said, you _made_ them put me on the card. Nobody would even know who I was if it wasn't for you."

"That's only because I dragged you into all that bullshit! That's all I'm famous for Ron, because some nutter decided to ruin my life. And he succeeded, because I still can't go anywhere without being pestered. You might love the fame Ron, but to be honest, I'd take being nobody any day." He ran his hand roughly through his hair and then took his seat next to me again. "You've never been nobody Ron, and you never will be." He moved his thumb to stroke the side of my face and I almost stopped breathing. "You're the most important person in the world to me. You have been since I was eleven years old." His gaze went from my eyes to my lips and back again. He seemed to be searching for some sort of permission from me, and I had to give in when I noticed the slightly desperate look in his eyes.

I leant forward just slightly and Harry moved to meet me. His hand moved to the back of my head and he pressed his open mouth to mine. This time was different to our earlier kiss; there were no sweet brushes of our lips or tentativeness. It was all lips and tongues and hands everywhere. I had one hand on Harry's neck and one on his waist in an attempt to bring him closer.

Harry's right hand was on my knee and as the kiss deepened, tongues swiping over lips and teeth, he moved it slowly up my thigh and sent tingles down my spine and to my groin. His hand was so close to touching me there but it stilled, as if unsure whether to continue. The sudden apprehension hit me like a bolt of lightning. What the hell where we doing? I should never have come; I knew something was going to happen.

"No, Harry…" I said, pushing at his chest. I stood up quickly to separate us and Harry sat gaping at me. "I can't," I told him, breathing heavily. "I can't do this… I'm sorry." I turned on the spot and quickly made my way into the hallway. Forgetting my coat, I headed straight for the door and pulled it open. It snapped shut before I had the chance to escape, and Harry was pressing me to the door.

"Don't do this," he said desperately, hitting the door with his fist.

I pressed my forehead to the door and closed my eyes. "We can't, Harry."

"We _can_. You told me you wanted me, Ron." His hands were resting on the door on either side of me and his chest was pressing me into the door. I tried to swallow but, with my suddenly dry throat, I found it difficult. "Tell me that you don't wantto do this, and I'll open the door for you." His voice was barely above a whisper and his breath ghosted over my ear.

"I don't… don't want…"

"Look at me and say it. Look at me and tell me that you don't want me." He leaned back a little, his hands still holding the door shut but giving me enough room to turn on the spot. When I didn't turn he moved one hand to pull on my shoulder. "Look at me."

I turned around slowly and forced my eyes open. I could feel Harry's breath on my face. "I… I don't… I can't, Harry." He leant in even further and his lips almost touched mine.

"I want you, Ron," the low voice sent another bolt of electricity to my groin and before I knew what was happening I was pulling Harry against me and was pinned against the door as his lips crashed against mine.


	7. Good Together

**Title:** Best Of Both Worlds  
**Ships:** Ron/Harry, Ron/Hermione  
**Rating:** NC17  
**Warning:** Both Slash and Het Pairing (Including Sex), Angst, Adultery, Romance  
**Word Count:** 1851  
**Summary:** The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.  
**Notes:** This is it. The NC17 chapter. Ron finally gives in. I'm always a little embarrassed when I post a fic like this... and I must say I think this is possibly my "dirtiest" one yet out of the two or three that I've written. This is also the first time I've written top!Ron... I usually prefer top!Harry but it made more sense that it was Ron here.

* * *

Something had taken hold of me and wouldn't let go. It seemed as if my hands were moving of their own accord and I didn't have a clue what was happening until a few seconds after it had already taken place.

I don't remember unbuttoning Harry's shirt or pushing it off his shoulders but suddenly it was on the floor at our feet and my hands were caressing Harry's shoulders and back. I was desperately trying to pull him closer even though I was already pinned between him and the door and any closer he'd have stopped me from breathing. Especially with my mouth completely occupied the way it was.

My tongue was in Harry's mouth and I was sliding it along his. It was amazing. I could taste the whiskey he'd been drinking, mixed with something that I'd never tasted before; something I'd never taken the time to notice during our other kisses. Perhaps you have to be in this strange, feverish state of mind before you noticed it.

Harry sucked on my tongue and I made a strange sighing sound that came out more like a whimper than a moan. I felt like I was going to collapse, and I'm certain that I would have done had Harry not been pressed so hard against me.

Frankly, I was surprised I could hear anything over the pounding of blood in my ears but every huffy little breath that Harry made through his nose, and every little moan that he gave seemed to be magnified a hundred times. My body seemed to be hypersensitive to every little sound and touch. And that's when I noticed it.

Harry was hard. His cock was pressed against my thigh and my own, hard long ago, gave a twitch.

We both gasped when contact was broken, remembering what it felt like to breathe through our mouths. Harry kept his forehead against mine and although I still had my eyes closed, I knew he was watching me, waiting for some kind of reaction.

"Fuck…" was all I could manage to say, after panting heavily for a minute or two.

"How can you… deny that you… don't want this?" Harry gasped, trying to control his own breathing. He stepped back just slightly and my body slumped against the door a little.

"Because, I shouldn't want this," I said, admitting defeat. What was the point of denying it?

"That's probably true, mate," Harry said, cupping my face. "But look at how good we are together; how good we've always been together."

"I know," I said.

"I've never wanted something so much before, never wanted anyone as much as I want you." He moved in towards me and whispered the words against my jaw. He planted a few open-mouthed kisses there and nibbled gently. He put his hand under my t-shirt and caressed the skin of my stomach. "And judging by how hard you are, I'd say you've never wanted anyone so much before either."

I moved my head to the side, letting Harry attack my jaw line once again. "Never," I breathed.

Harry moved to pull the t-shirt over my head and I let him. He stood and watched my face as he ran his hand along my ribs and moved a thumb across my nipple. I gasped a little and felt my face heating in a strange mixture of arousal and embarrassment as Harry continued to look at my face.

He moved his hands to the fly on my jeans and slowly undid them. My heart was pounding against my chest. My arms were hanging limply by my sides, I was frozen to the spot, and I looked down to watch as Harry pulled down both my jeans and my underwear at once. There I was, standing completely naked in front of my best mate, hard as a rock. Harry's eyes flickered between my face and my cock and his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

He leant forwards and caught my bottom lip between his teeth, applying just a little pressure. I couldn't help but let out a low moan as his green eyes stared intensely into my blue ones. He sucked my lip into his mouth and ran his tongue along it. I was just about to respond to the kiss properly when I felt Harry's fingers close around my cock.

"_Fuck_…" I hissed, breaking the kiss and arching into Harry's touch.

"Now, tell me you don't want this," Harry said, rubbing me with firm, slow strokes.

"Can't," I gasped. "Want this. _Shit_… Want you." I was completely lost in the moment. I'd forgotten about everything except for me and Harry. Nothing else existed to me. Nothing else mattered to me. Harry dropped to his knees and his stroking slowed to an excruciating pace. "No… don't…"

With little warning, he brushed the tip of my prick with his tongue and then blew gently against the moisture. It gave another twitch and I was harder than I could ever remember being in my life.

When nothing else happened for a minute or two but Harry's slow stroking I began to grow impatient.

"Suck me," I growled a little desperately, opening my eyes for the first time in ages and looking down to see Harry's surprised expression turn into an amused grin.

He stopped stroking, much to my dismay, and put his hands on my hips holding me against the door. He put his mouth as close as possible to the head without actually touching it and looked up at me through his fringe. "You sure?" he smirked.

"Just fucking do… oh," I said as Harry suddenly took me into his mouth. I instinctively tried to fuck his mouth but his hands on my hips were surprisingly strong and they held me against the door. Unable to thrust into his mouth, I grabbed at his hair and pulled him against me each time he got too far away, trying to quicken his pace, but he kept control over the situation. After a few minutes I began to pant and murmur incoherently… I was so close. That's when Harry stood up.

"What…" I began, but I was cut off, this time when Harry's mouth descended on my own. My hands were around his neck in no time and I took the opportunity, now that Harry's hands were otherwise occupied in my hair to thrust against his leg a few times, desperate to get myself off.

"We don't want it to be over before we've got to the good part do we?" Harry said, stilling my hips once again. "I think you should do me. I know you've never done it before, so it'll be easier this way." I was vaguely aware that Harry was undoing his own trousers and pulling them down. I was momentarily stunned by his suggestion and I opened my mouth, not quite sure what I was going to say.

"But I…"

"I know you're close, and I know this is new for you but God, Ron, I have to know what it feels like to have you inside me, to have you fucking me." He stepped out of his trousers and stood to face the wall, glancing over his shoulder at me. "Come on, like this, fuck me against the wall."

The low, desperate tone to his voice meant that I was behind him so fast I don't even remember moving. "I… I don't know what…"

"Don't worry, I know a couple of spells that will speed us along. I'll show you how to do it properly next time; right now I just want you inside me."

"Next time?" I gulped.

"Next time." He smiled. He found my wand in the pocket of my coat hanging not too far away and muttered a few spells that I wasn't familiar with. "Stretching and lube charms," he explained. "Ready."

I moved my hands to separate Harry's arse cheeks a little, making it easier for me to press my cock at his entrance. I'd never been so desperate to just go for it before, but something in the back of my head was making me a little apprehensive… and it wasn't guilt like I was expecting. I was afraid of hurting Harry.

"I don't want…"

"You won't, Ron, I promise." He sounded a little impatient so I did the only thing I could do. I pressed into him as hard as I could and as the head slipped past the tight ring of muscle, I seemed to black out slightly. For just a split second everything went suddenly dark and silent and although I couldn't hear him, I felt Harry moan. That's right, I felt it. My chest was pressed against his back and I felt the rumble of his moan vibrate through me.

When my hearing returned, everything was magnified again. Harry was panting as I slammed into him over and over. He moaned and repeated my name over and over like he couldn't believe this was actually happening. _I_ couldn't believe this was actually happening. All I knew was that it was amazing and that I couldn't stop.

I noticed that Harry was stroking himself at the same rhythm of my thrusts, and I knew I was going to come any second.

"Fuck… so close, Harry…" I pressed a small kiss to the back of Harry's shoulder.

"Come… " Harry encouraged me as he rubbed himself even quicker, "…let go."

And I did. I came inside Harry, moaning and continuing to pound into him as I did.

"Shit…" I heard Harry say as though through gritted teeth, and he came too, covering the wall in front of him.

I slumped against him, still buried inside him, and sighed against his shoulder. My forehead was pressed against his neck and I was breathing him in. He smelt of sweat and sex and Harry… and I couldn't help but smile against his skin. We stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing deeply, trying to regain a normal rhythm.

My right hand ran up the length of Harry's body and along his arm to meet his hand where it was flat against the wall. I laced my fingers with his and he gave them a squeeze.

Eventually, we moved and I heard Harry whimper slightly when I pulled out of him. He turned round and leant against the wall, studying my face, I assume to see what my reaction to the whole crazy situation was. He looked tense and anxious. I brushed his sweaty fringe off his forehead and took a moment to move my thumb back and forth across the lightening shaped scar. I stepped into him and curled my arms under his, holding onto his shoulders and burying my face in his neck. I kissed him softly there and I felt his body relax against me, as he sighed in relief and wrapped his own arms around my back.

"You're okay?" He asked, kissing my hair.

"Mmmm hmmm… you?" I asked, my head still buried in his neck.

"If you're okay, I'm okay."


	8. Wanting You

**Title:** Best Of Both Worlds  
**Ships:** Ron/Harry, Ron/Hermione  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warning:** Both Slash and Het Pairing (Including Sex), Angst, Adultery, Romance  
**Word Count:** 919  
**Summary:** The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.  
**Notes:** This chapter has taken me a while, and to be honest, it's horrible. I think I'm losing motivation for this storyline. I think I like writing angst and smut too much for this storyline to work. I've tried to move the plot along with this one but it seems too rushed after all the waiting you've had in previous chapter. gives up Such a dissapointing chapter... when I was so pleased with the last one.

* * *

After cleaning ourselves up and getting dressed, Harry and I returned to the living room. We drank a few more glasses of Firewhiskey and watched some rubbish Monday evening television. It was as if the last hour or so hadn't happened, but the awkward tension had left the room. I felt totally relaxed. After a while, I found myself drifting to sleep, having been deprived of my usual post-coital nap.

I woke to someone saying my name quietly in a sing-song voice, and brushing the hair away from my forehead.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled, trying to drag myself into consciousness.

"I made you some coffee," Harry's voice said.

My eyes shot open to see him smiling at me, still stroking the front of my hair with one hand and holding a mug in the other hand. I sat up quickly as my still sleepy mind tried to make sense of my surroundings.

"Careful, mate," Harry yelped, standing up as some of the hot coffee spilt onto his pyjama bottoms. He brushed them off, and then turned back to me.

"Sorry," I shook my head, finally realising where I was and why I was here. "Just wasn't expecting you, that's all. I... erm, I forgot."

"Oh." Harry frowned, and handed me the coffee. "Oh yeah, of course." He strode away into the kitchen and I heard him fussing with drawers and cutlery and plates for a while. And then there was silence.

I smacked myself in the head for being my usual insensitive self, and after a few minutes I stood up and made my own way into the kitchen. Harry was standing facing the sink, staring out of the window. I hesitated near the door for a few seconds, and then decided to take the plunge. I wouldn't let things go back to being all awkward and ridiculous.

"I'm sorry, Harry," I tried, stepping into the room and crossing my arms across my chest.

"What for?" Harry attempted to say it nonchalantly, but I heard the bitterness there.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I was just sleepy and I… I just forgot where I was for a second. I mean, I didn't forget what happened. Well, I did, but not because I wanted to… I just… I…"

"I know," Harry interrupted, still staring in the opposite direction. He swallowed loudly and shook his head. "We shouldn't have done that."

"Shouldn't we?"

"Hermione," Harry said simply. He glanced over his shoulder at me and bit his bottom lip, his eyes slightly watery. "I don't want to hurt her, Ron... and I know you don't want to either."

"No," I admitted. "I don't want her to get hurt. I love her, Harry, but I..."

"Don't!" Harry said quickly. "Don't you dare say something that you don't mean!" He growled, looking down at the sink. "I should've just let you go."

I took a few steps until I was behind him and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. His muscles tensed beneath me for a second.

"Harry, you would have let me go if I'd wanted to."

I moved my hand down his arm and stepped into him, so that my chest was against his back. I continued to move my hand down his arm until it reached his hand on the sink, and I laced my fingers between his. I wrapped my other arm around his chest and let my hand settle over his heart. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I love her... but I'm not _in love_ with her anymore."

"How could we have done this to her?" Harry hung his head in front of him.

"I feel awful. I can't even describe how bad I feel." I squeezed my eyes shut as the guilt rose in me until I thought I tasted bile in the back of my throat. "But Harry? I wouldn't have done his with just anyone. Why would I risk everything I have on some stupid, crazy whim? I wanted it, mate. I wanted you." I moved my hand up and down his chest slowly; he turned his hand to close around mine on the edge of the sink.

"What are we going to do?" Harry whispered. "She'll be crushed. She loves you so much. We both know that she'll find out one way or another, and when she does, we'll deserve everything she throws at us."

"I know," I said. "I'll have to tell her."

"What?"

"I think it's only fair that I tell her. She'll be hurt enough as it is. If she has to find out from somebody else it will kill her."

"But, Ron, she'll kill you."

"I can think of worse she might do." I closed my eyes and had a brief image of Hermione turning her wand on me and using the Cruciatus Curse. I'd deserve it. "Besides, don't you think it's worse for me to carry on pretending that I want her, pretending I'm in love with her... when really I'm in love with you." I was surprised that this admission had come so easily, and so quickly. When I took a second to think about it, I realised it had been true for a lot longer than I'd realised.

Harry was silent for a long time. Then, slowly, he turned his head to look at me.

"You don't have to say that."

"I know." I squeezed his hand, and leant forwards to brush my lips against his gently. "I love you, Harry."


End file.
